Yoohoo

Wow, I was dreading this review and my dread was justified. Yuuuuuck. Yoohoo sucks. With a capital S. Yoohoo Sucks. 

First off, the flavor is completely bonkers. It tastes like someone poured battery acid infused expired Hershey’s syrup in mosquito spawn water and blended it violently. 

The taste is appalling. Oh my god. It’s awful. Even when I was a kid I hated this stuff. I have a vivid memory of my grandparents giving me a bottle because I was excited to try new chocolate milk (I’ve been on this path for a long time) and being utterly disgusted by the sugary disaster at age 7 or so. 

First of, the milk is based on water.. Uh, ok. Not terrible, some planted based stuff does too. Second ingredient by volume is High Fructose Corn syrup, which in addition to being a terrible tasting ingredient, is a foul product of monoculture corn crops and a devilish invention/bastardization of corn. Third ingredient: whey, and not whey for protein, just some kind of additive maybe for thickness. I mean, there’s only 3 grams of protein in a serving. If you were going to add whey you could have added whey protein isolate. Then they use dry fat milk, palm oil, sucralose, artificial flavors, corn syrup solids, I mean it’s like evil ingredient bingo. Oh, and 36!!! grams of added sugar! That’s the most I have ever seen, by a huge margin. When not even extreme amounts of sugar can save your sorry excuse of a ‘chocolate milk’ you know you’ve reserved a special spot on my list. If this site was called www.worstchocolatemilk.com yoo-hoo would be number one!

When I reviewed Lifeway Chocolate Kefir, I was so grossed out, I thought nothing would top it and I immediately marked it what I thought was the last spot. No sir! Yoo-hoo doesn’t just take the cake, it throws it on the ground! There’s nothing to celebrate here. Yoo-hoo sucks!