For years I have been on a quest to find the best chocolate milk. I have tried to impart fair and judicious values as a consistent measuring system.
Both dairy and nondairy options are evaluated and equally so.
While I would deducts points for added sugar, I won’t, because it’s virtually impossible to find chocolate milk that doesn’t have added sugar. I will however deduct massive points for any chocolate milk that contains over 10 gram of added sugar per serving.
Flavor ratings will be based on numerous factors including but not limited to decadence, umami, savory, chocolate value and quality, and other defining characteristics. There’s a lot of factors, umami, decadence, sugar content, grass fed or not, milk vs non milk based, flavor, aftertaste, ingredients, and other factors.
7 of 10 factors will be graded up to 10 points, with flavor being worth up to 20 points and two minute qualities being worth up to 5 each. totaling up to a possible 100 points. Up to an additional 20 bonus points can be added based on various subjective criteria.
Grading is derived from the tier system:
S: 90-100
A: 80-89
B:70-79
C: 60-69
D:50-59
F: 0-50
Factors explained:
Flavor: The overall taste, what impression does it leave? What flavors are present? Are there other flavors beyond chocolate like mint, cinnamon, or others?
Aftertaste: Does it leave a pleasant or unpleasant aftertaste? What is the lingering flavor? Texture?
Company Ethics: does the company engage in fair trade, support local farms, etc? This will be mildly subjective as I can only ascertain qualities from the container until I get a dedicated research team to scour the endless internet for the sake of evaluating chocolate milk producers. Things that rank higher: being plant based, lower water usage, ingredient quality, if things are organic, or similar
Grass-fed/Water Usage: If the cows were pasture raised/grass-fed, this gives massive points because it is indicative of both higher quality manufacturing as well as care for the milk. It’s also better for the cows. Sometimes, cows will be grass-fed but grain finished. This can be hard to ascertain, and, to my current understanding, does not have a significant effect on the flavor. HOWEVER: Since this only applies to dairy beverages, a similar levy must be imposed upon the non-dairy and it will be the consumption of water used to produce milk. Almond milk will take the biggest hit, as it is largely an aquatic travesty, though, unbiased I must be. I will do my diligence to discover the amount of water used. This will take time, so bear with me. Almond milk based beverages rank low as almond trees take lots of water and are grown in areas that are taking water from precious rivers. Dairy also ranks low on water usage, because the water used to grow cows to milking maturity is quite high. Coconut is a middle ground. Peas and beans do not require nearly as much water, and as such rank much higher.
Added sugar: the lower the added sugars the higher the score out of 10 and conversely, the higher the add sugar content, the lower the score of 10. This includes all kinds of sugar: coconut, cane (which is terrible for the environment in the manner that it is processed) and others.
0 Grams added sugar: 10
1-5 Grams added sugar: 9
5-10 grams added sugar: 6
10-15 grams added sugar: 4
15-20 grams added sugar: 2
20+ grams added sugar: 0
Richness: how full is the flavor, does it have a bold and distinct taste? Is it decadent? Is it distinguished? What is emphasized?
Smoothness: does the chocolate milk feature an easy texture, is it thick? Is it grainy?
Organic: is the milk sourced organically? If yes, it gets the whole 5 points and contributes to a companies ethics.
Chocolate quality: this can be harder to ascertain but if the type or quality of chocolate is observable it will get a higher grade.
Is it low quality cocoa powder and sugar? Is it finely scrapped organic coca beans? Organic Cocoa Powder = 4,Cocoa Powder = 2-3, chocolate extract = 2 (+1 if it is organic)
Bonus Points: Mildly subjective, things like protein content, accessibility, branding, and more. Additional supplements like Reishi, ashwaganda, lion’s mane, or other similar health oriented supplements.
|
Flavor |
/20 |
|
Aftertaste |
/10 |
|
Richness |
/10 |
|
Smoothness |
/10 |
|
Company Ethics |
/10 |
|
Added Sugar |
/10 |
|
Grass-fed or Water consumption |
/10 |
|
No Added Hormones/Ingredient Quality |
/10 |
|
Organic |
/5 |
|
Chocolate Quality |
/5 |
|
Bonus Points |
/20 |
|
Total Score |
/100 |
Powders and Syrups have a different system because they cannot be judged by the same standard as ready to drink milk. Furthermore, it can be difficult to pair them with the same base drink due to availability. So with that said, I will try to judge them fairly still. I will use a commonly found, unsweetened almond drink as a base to judge all powders and syrups on a level playing field.